Just three days before momentous SpaceX launch on the sixth of February the chairman of leading tech company Amazon, Jeff Bezos, went missing under suspicious circumstances. Suspicious circumstances? You ask. Yes, I reply, suspicious circumstances my friend. His family mansion on the exotic shores of Sheffield was burnt down but his body has yet to be found. However, one thing that has been found on the scene is a flame thrower that as far as we can tell was sold by rival company Tesla. Tesla chairman Elon Musk has denied all claims of this potentially terrorist act being at all related to his company saying that “even the thought disgusts” him. But the rumours carry, a whistle blower from the companies midsts who will remain unnamed hinted at a link between this tragic event and the recent falcon heavy launch in a sinister way. There has been a rumour flitting around the company that the star man dummy is actually the dead body of missing Amazon chair Jeff Bezos trapped inside a drivers suit.