“Jeremy Corbyn is a communist Czechoslovakian spy! Can you believe it. I guess this Labour Party isn’t worth my vote. I’ll just have to vote for the Tory’s as they are completely trustworthy and definitely would not backstab anyone.”
Dearest Theresa and Borri, What a brilliant ploy, you glorious Tory’s, the classic smear tactics, works so well. Discredit your rivals, steal their constituencies. However I think you need to work on it a bit more. I recommend imbedding some Labour members that are secretly conservative, how should I put it... spies... no much too harsh, how about understanding. Yes that’s a better word, conservative understanding. Yes if you take these, dedicated loyal labour members and use, no, collaborate with them to infiltrate the ranks of the Labour Party then the effect would be much more crippling... and spectacular.

I mean you didn’t do too badly and I know you wish to keep a low profile so the public are played into thinking you have no experience of doing this in the past, but really, you have so much practice, at least try. It is like a physics professor failing their Math SATs I mean, really, you can obviously do 5+7 if you can understand string theory. You literally just said something and expected the Labour Party to admit to the lie. The number one rule of blackmail, misinforming and general deceit is that you have an anchor point and some leverage. I mean come on. You had neither, honestly I am surprised the media even bothered I mean I know we are desperate, aggressive wolves with a hunger for facts and thirst for opinions but still.

What did go well is the fact you managed to brush you slip up ( and yes I am looking at you Ben Bradley) under the metaphorical carpet with a quick exchange of money to a charitable cause. After all only good people donate to charity. A figure of five in British sterling pounds isn’t something thing to scoff at. As donations go that is pretty generous. The Labour Party’s leader however will forever be branded by the less up to date people of the world as a traitor. I mean would you want a traitor being your country’s leader. No? Well not surprised, I am certain I wouldn’t. Also that little bonus with the “ other Labour Party members were Czech spies” just discredited the rest of them so they don’t just change leaders. How much did you pay the ex-spy 1 mill,2 or do I not want to know. No wonder the budget is so low maybe it isn’t just tax avoidance that’s the problem but the terrible rates accusations are nowadays. Inflation is one thing but it is like we are being ripped off, maybe that’s the real scandal here forget Corbyn, let’s crack down on this issue. You should put that in your next manifesto, no one will notice anyway so why not?

But back to the point, I would say for the future you plan your story first and get your facts straight before setting off. “Failing to plan is planning to fail” after all so just think of that. I mean I know it wasn’t meant to be super elaborate and that it is to deceive the public so doesn’t have to be much since a rumour is all it takes for the public to be fooled but just think of the potential. The Labour Party wouldn’t be able to stand in the conservative regime way after that for a while if you carried it off perfectly and obliterated the leadership.

This why I prepose the use of more discrete techniques. This would damage the Party from the inside out keeping connections and ties with the conservatives at a minimum . This would be beneficial as that decreases the probability of a media backlash so collateral damage is kept to a minimum. Also the lower levels the Party doesn’t need to worry about it or be troubled with the knowledge that they otherwise would have to deal with. It’s for there benefit after all. Also it wouldn’t cost as much so you can use the money on making your rule prosperous so you are likely to get voted in any way and so other Parties doesn’t get there hands on the power, we wouldn’t want that would we. And finally one of my main points, is that you can get some valuable intel, for example their member make up. This means you can create a manifesto that correlates to that of the wishes of those types of voters created an image of a valid voting option. But what do I know I am just a humble newspaper writer not as manipulative as you politicians. Am I missing the grand master plan? Who knows? Who actually cares? After all, the general public don’t really since they just believe what they are told.